Hal E. Louyah

They stoked some dope,

for the white smoke,

and gotta new pope.

And here he is in a picture taken in his younger days:

Pope Wackytobacci

A Cad's Award

For all of those who DO NOT want to get layed tonight...and possibly FOREVER...use this service today:

This idea deserves a very special award, methinks...

Hey...enjoy your VD, all you B of C readers out there.

It's Alive...

I'm not complaining mind you, but that was more or less the prognosis after my unscheduled visit to the emergency room a couple of weekends ago.

It was just getting dark and I was on a ladder in my garage, trying to repair the door opener. I thought I couldn't see because of the single light bulb in the light fixture itself. I got down, turned on another light, and realized that it wasn't the dimness...it was double vision in my left eye. Then the chest pain began...not sharp...kind of dull...but pain nevertheless. My wife pushed my stubborn ass into the car and we went to the nearest hospital, which happens to be Catholic. They immediately took me in when we mentioned the chest pain part..and without even one word about beJesus. Hallelujah!

Long story short, they gave me large amounts of  tests, pumped me full of "stuff", hooked me up to multiple tentacles and decided to keep me overnight for more tests the next day.

No fine, I-don't-want-to-go-home, loopy medications, however.

Aside from hourly blood draw pokes, the worse part was the stress test the next day. I have a sciatic nerve problem and the pain is severe when I put too much strain on it. The alternative to the physical stress test is a radiated chemical one...the name of which I forget. At first I thought  that this was the better method, given my sciatica problem. BUT THEN, the nurse began reading to me the possible side affects, one of which was severe headache and...and...and...another...CARDIAC ARREST! I have heard many first hand tales about this shit...and they aren't nice. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Time to "man up" and take the actual, frickin' treadmill stress test. This took a lot of grit and removing my mind from the actual event, it hurt like hell, but I did it.

In the end (the interim end, that is), they could not find one damned thing "apparently" wrong. So, I was given prescriptions for Nitroglycerin and some baaaaaad mo fo blood pressure drug. For those of you who don't know, Nitroglycerin is that tiny pill actors pop in their mouths whilst faking a heart pain in old "B" movies...oh, and did I mention, it is also a main ingredient of...Dynamite!

As to the cloud hanging there, I am doing a follow up with the Cardiologist this week (more tests). He did say that cardiac catheterization is a possibility if this reoccurs. But, hey...they do that every day...every day...every day...or so I am told.

At best, I consider the experience an ode to making it this far on the planet...albeit with tubes, probes, and Doctor Who type machines, self-inflicted physical tests and of course explosive sounding medications.

And it also reinforced an adage my dear ol' grandmother beat repeatedly into my skull...that is...wear fresh drawers...everyday...you never know when you are going to end up in a hospital.

Thanks granny.

My sorrow has no words

April 20, 1999

13 killed, 24 injured: Columbine, Colo

July 29, 1999
9 killed, 12 injured: Atlanta

Sept. 15, 1999
7 killed, 7 injured: Fort Worth

Dec. 26, 2000
7 killed: Wakefield, Mass

March 5, 2001
2 killed, 13 injured: Santee, Calif

July 8, 2003
5 killed, 9 injured: Meridian, Miss.

March 21, 2005
9 killed, 7 injured: Red Lake Indian Reservation, Minn

Oct. 2, 2006
5 killed, 5 injured: Nickel Mines, Pa.

Feb. 12, 2007
5 killed, 4 injured: Salt Lake City

April 16, 2007
32 killed, 17 injured: Blacksburg, Va

Dec. 5, 2007
8 killed, 4 injured: Omaha

Feb. 14, 2008
5 killed, 16 injured: Dekalb, Ill

April 3, 2009
13 killed, 4 injured: Binghamton, N.Y.

Nov. 5, 2009
13 killed, 32 injured: Ft. Hood, Texas

Aug. 3, 2010
8 killed, 2 injured: Manchester, Conn.

Jan. 8, 2011
6 killed, 11 injured: Tucson, Ariz

Oct. 12, 2011
8 killed, 1 injured: Seal Beach, Calif.

April 2, 2012
7 killed, 3 injured: Oakland

July 20, 2012
12 killed, 58 injured: Aurora, Colo.

Aug. 5, 2012
6 killed, 3 injured: Oak Creek, Wis.

Sept. 28, 2012
6 killed, 2 injured: Minneapolis, Minn

Oct. 21, 2012
3 dead, 4 injured; Brookfield, Wis.

Dec. 14, 2012
27 killed, one injured; Newtown, Conn.


Sources: L.A. Times research - Originally published July 20, 2012...updated yesterday
Credits: Maloy Moore, Megan Garvey, Evan Wagstaff

ADDENDUM:

To all who commented on the original post:

Apparently I exceeded the allowable character number in my response...hence this addendum.


I have two daughters who are nine and fifteen and attend public schools. Needless to say, this is the sort of thing that is a parent's worse dream. I would be devastated if this happened to either of my children.  So, this terrible thing rips my heart out in empathy...as a father and as a caring human being.

As to guns in general: I am not a stranger to guns, having served in the army as a platoon leader. I am qualified on the 45 cal pistol and M14 rifle, as expert. I own no guns, rifles or shotguns. Have never owned any and do not want to own any. Guns are forever unforgiving. There is nothing sporting about a gun, rifle or shotgun...of any type.

In my view, in this society there is no good reason to own a gun...the "only criminals would have guns" crowd notwithstanding.

When the Second Amendment was written there were only 4 million people in this country. We just recently hit the almost 314 million mark. The difference between that 18th Century Society and this one is clearly obvious to all but the brain dead...or should be. There are just too damned many people and as we know, too many mental deranged ones. The massive numbers should tell us that the issue of whether the Second Amendment was to insure that we have a miltia, or not, is moot. The Supreme Court, which ruled in 2010 that the militia issue wasn't the intent, but rather that freedom to own a firearm was the intent of the amendment. Honestly, I think the Supreme Court has thrown out common sense and is pandering to the NRA.

The mental health issue? In this case, no gun restriction law would have prevented his murder of babies. Was he mentally ill? Of course...but, the guns were available. He didn't have to go through any legal process to get them. He simply borrowed them, or rather, took them.

What really murdered these children was an attitude. His mother had the attitude. She owned the guns, and the attitude is  re-inforced by our society and in particular by NRA members. What is the attitude? That we have a god-given right to own guns and that we NEED them in our lives. We do not.

Given our penchant lately for reducing funding for public programs such as mental health help, there is not much chance that we are going to address this part of the issue any time soon. And given that we have an insanely influential lobbying group...the NRA...calling the shots (no pun intended) on gun legislation...well, we are basically fucked. And so are our babies.

We all know the truth. No legislation will happen regards arms restrictions. No mental health programs will materialize to help individuals who have this sickness...and...the motherfucking NRA will continue to exist in all it's evilness. And no, President Obama is not planning to confiscate your bullshit arsenal, Billy Bob. Ain't gonna happen,.

So you think you have a tough job?

Thank your whatever...you could be a newspaper editor.

My "overworked" brother emailed these to me today...during the day...while at work...in his office...on the company computer...before lunch.

The smart ass remarks are mine, in case you thought otherwise.

Brilliant reporting!

So was the dad!

I think they miSSIed (sic) the point!

A court menage a trois?

Unless they're bunnies.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Don't read too much into this.

Oh yeah? Ask his wife...see what she has to say.

Man, if that had been a gorilla...
the guy would have been in real trouble.

Er...uh...hmmmm...well...

Did anyone tell Tiger Woods about this study?

This is so transparent.

Self-defense?

My money was on the mistress of the mid-night mercies.

Isn't that those thingies Spanish Lady Dancers use?

Well, there are still residuals from All In The Family.

Hear, hear!

An extravagance that is killing the bottom line!

The power of deduction leads to the road of recovery.
- Johnny Walker

Can't you see this reporter snickering while writing this headline?

Damn thing is...it was a home school.

No exceptions, by God!

I couldn't care less.

It'll stunt your growth, too.

Come on Sharon...give me a break..this is no coincidence. You fabricated and doubled up on those lead-ins...admit it!

Oh, I see.

How many days for, oh say,  a head-on collision?

Damn. Does the pope know about this?

Oh God...there are so many ways to go with this...and they didn't even mention Wun Hung Lo.

As does one's auto insurance premiums. Is there a connection?

Nothing beats good old fashioned police work.

Hot damn, I love me some Canadians!

Take away their cardboard boxes?

Ask any criminal lawyer...damned smart move.

As does Francisco Franco.

Soooooo, they're training to be...vada boom...Head Mistresses?